There's something very attractive about a self destructive behavior.
Seductive. Chaotic. Free.
There was a time where I was reading below my grade level. And before that, my teachers thought I had ADD and wanted me on meds.
So do we circle back to who we once were? Despite all we learn? To take a step from progress, just for the heck of it?
I'm no so sure. I don't know what my sisters are talking about. Yeah, I had a few years where I got good grades. But I always struggled with school. I just knew it was my escape. And I worked hard. I worked hard and I cheated some.
So where did that leave me? At a competitive University, with no self discipline, no study habits, and no more cheating.
You do the math.
I'm sinking.
And my frugal mind guilts me to think that I'm wasting money on tuition.
I know I won't give up. So why did I quit trying?
I don't think I ever had A.D.D. I just get bored, so I do something else.
Final tomorrow morning. Did I study? ...Do I ever?
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Posted by MoonyMoMo at 9:51 PM
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2 comments:
My dear woman. Forget the grade and enjoy the learning, wherever you can find it. :)
Your a good writer dear.
Loves
I never saw you as the student...that was always Jen. However, I have always known that you are incredibly intelligent and if you want something, you leap. I think at the end of the day, you have to decide whether or not you really want a degree. If your dream is to write, you don't have to have a degree to do that. It just really helps. Why do you think I never finished school? All the same reasons. I hated the busy work, the schedule, and the classes that were mandatory but didn't interest me. I still wonder sometimes if I will go back. At this point, I know for sure that I still couldn't pick any one major. I would probably take art and botany courses. Anyways, there is nothing wrong with you. Your mold was pre-made, allow yourself the permission to do what you want whether that means taking a break or plowing through.
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