Okay, so the jealous thing is going well. Especially since I realized that the root to my jealousy was actually my insecurity.
So I'm not getting angry anymore about other girls, but I am still getting insecured. Such nonsense.
"A person who is insecure... has fears that a present positive state is temporary and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future."
Okay so what exactly is going on with me? Am I scared because things are amazingly good right now? Do I need a little dose of drama to feel at ease?
Or is it the same old story? Where the whole "being a master of nothing" gets to me and I feel like a failure cause I compare myself to the talented.
Or MAYBE, I'm just having trouble adopting to my new role as a wife. So I'm being hard on myself for not doing a good enough job.
The world doesn't exist in just black and white, so let's save myself the headache and assume that it's a bit of all three.
What do I do?
My solution so far is to just convince myself out of it. To tell myself that "believe it or not, the guy actually loves you," or "you're stinking hot, get over yourself". etc. etc. etc.
But is that healthy? Is there a better approach?
I did decide last night that I'm no longer going to refer to Travis as "weird" or "bizarre". Because even though those words are positive in my mind (cause I love him for his oddities. He's awesome!), they're not in his.
I'm not sure what that has to do with the insecurity topic. But it fits into the whole trying to build a positive home: A place where insecurity, jealousy, impatience, among other things, all simply don't belong.
In other words.
I will NOT turn into my mother.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Step 2: Insecurity
Posted by MoonyMoMo at 10:43 AM
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4 comments:
o net your personality is so different form mom anyway you have nothing to fear.
And its all about acceptance. You definitely have to work on a marriage to get eachother happy over the years (and you've started that)but you also have to learn to accept. even if you don't understand why travis loves you (which is easy, you're so loveable) just accept that he does. To me, it comes to trust and believeing what he says. Even if I can pick out a million reasons why he wouldn't love me, he does, and you have to trust that. Otherwise, marriage is less fun.
...sorry I ranted.
Don't apologize. That rant helps!
I second Julia's comment.
Furthermore, I have come to realize from all the singles guys I work with that even though they want to get married, it’s so scary for them! It takes an exciting girl to get them calmed down enough to go through with it. In your case, I think Travis was so blown away by your uniqueness, exotic beauty, and outgoing spirit, he fell real fast! In other words, he appreciates your beauty more than you do which is why you don't understand it.
If it makes you feel any better, every married couple I know has gone through the stage it sounds like to me you are going through. It is called the newly wed stage and it is slightly different for everyone because everyone is different. The fact of the matter is everyone goes through it, and as long as you both do whatever to keep things working, things will continue to be happily-ever-after.
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