Always More Goals

I'm so far behind that I don't know where to begin anymore. I wish I wrote this summer in a journal. It was a good one full of learning experiences, opportunities for progression and of course, adventures. The best thing about it is that it officially begins tomorrow after I take my last final. =)
Then we have two weeks of no consequence freedom. We have a canyoneering trip planned and a family trip to Flaming Gorge. Oh this is why I live.

In the mean time! I think it is important to note that I gave a good kick to that thousand headed dragon, also known as the ego. My temper is almost gone and my social fears are minimal. And though I will continue to work on these particular heads, I feel it is time to kick it up a notch and to conquer over more insecurities and unhealthy habits.

First, Health:

I'm not really embarrassed or ashamed of how I look. I'm quite vain actually. But I HATE how I feel: sluggish and lazy. I get tired after throwing a Frisbee and I can't ride a bike up a tiny hill. I love to hike and canyoneer but it absolutely wipes me out! This will not do!

We're not planning on kids for another couple of years for a variety of reasons. So my goal is to be completely fit and active by the time we're ready for kids and before I'm pregnant. Why? Because I want to be an active mom! I want to run around with my kids, and hike with them. I just know now is the easiest time in my life to establish healthy habits. So now is when I am going to do it.

The plan:

I've been jogging and doing yoga for a while now. Just inconsistently. So I'll always be working on that. I've also started Pilates and bike riding. I am hoping to be able to ride my bike to the bus stop in Payson (5-7 miles depending on the route) next semester. Not only is it healthy for me and the environment, but it saves money too! Plus, I think once a week, I'll try to make it to the pool at BYU. Travis taught me the proper and easier way to swim laps but I still need to work on it.

Now the hard part: healthy diet. A half a year ago, I ate lots and lots of meats. I started eating smaller amounts as my way to create balance in the food chain. Now I'm decreasing the amount of meats even more. To be honest, I made this decision originally not for health. But because my Sperry family bought the cutest pig I've ever seen (actually the only pig I've ever seen). I'm not against raising our own food. In fact, I think it's the best way to go about eating meat (hence our cows). But that doesn't make the process easier. So my justification is that the typical person eats way more meat than what's healthy. I'm not only being healthy but I'm balancing the meat eaters out. Silly, I know.
With that, I am of course eating more vegetables and some more fruits. If you want some ideas about eating vegetables, check out the green smoothie girl. Just Google it and you'll find blogs and books.
So if anyone knows healthy recipes that are high in nutritional value, please share!!

Just to overkill the subject: I've also stopped drinking soda - I do have a Pepsi in the fridge for emergencies. I'm happy to say it's been sitting there for a few months now. haha- and I've been keeping track of how much water I drink. It's hard to drink water! But our bodies need it so bad! And this may sound odd but I also slightly increased my salt intake - so the water I drink doesn't just run through my body and flush out my nutrients along with it. We use Sea Salt, which is supposed to be healthier than table salt. It's highly debated whether it is or not, so let me know what you guys think.

One final shout out, I am happy to announce the yoga DOES help with PMS and cramps. I believe I mentioned my Lunar Cycle Journal before. It's basically a daily record of my emotions, diet, activities, etc. That, too, had been successful. For a minute there, I was beginning to understand not only my body but my emotions (they cycle through a pattern too!). Unfortunately I fell behind for the past few weeks. I'm starting it again today though.

Okay, finally moving on!

So last year, my big victory was when I walked off the edge of a cliff - repelling. It was awesome I loved it. However, if you wait a year before you do it again, guess what. Your fears come back! Fortunately after only 5-10 minutes of doubts, I was able to do it again.

I bring this up because I am SO READY to conquer fear! I hate fear! I want to break free from it. Please do not be concerned. I am not talking about jumping off of cliffs. I still have limits. I don't want to be afraid to be myself in a group of people. To laugh! To make friends and to go out. I don't want to be afraid to do the things I love, like writing and climbing! I don't want to be driven by my fear of looking stupid or being judged.

If I have to walk my bike up the hill, I will! Because what's important is that I am getting out on that bike in the first place!
If I have to look sloppy and unprofessional while I swim laps, then I will! Because I'm not afraid to take time to learn anymore!
And I WILL raise my hand! I WILL tell you what I think and I WILL get weird looks (probably). But I won't be afraid of those looks. I won't let that fear of those looks control my actions. It's my opinion, and in an English class, that opinion actually matters to my grade. More importantly, if I can't share my insights to a class, how can I in my writing? I can only imagine the anxiety of wanting to publish anything in my life. Sounds like a one way ticket to self destructive tendencies.

I know this all sounds silly. But understand, my life was and still is driven by irrational fear and insecurities. But to live like that is to not live at all. At least not with passion. And to live life with passion is probably the greatest lesson Trav has taught me.

My final goal is Spiritual. I was really good about reading my scriptures and the Ensign, and saying my daily prayers, but like everything else, I dropped it this past month. So I'll be getting back on that now. I feel a need to also prepare my Sunday lessons more in advance and to pray more for those kids. We teach Primary's eight year olds. And it's awesome.

So I think that's it for goals. I'm still incredibly happy, despite the trials and challenges that comes with life. Trav is my greatest blessing and I owe all my progress to him.


More updates later. But I need to study and eat lunch. =)