I'm struggling to express myself.
I feel that the answers to my questions should be obvious, yet I keep asking.
I tried making a list of my passions and the things that I desire only to find that I'm a simple girl whose desires are surprisingly few. And most disappointingly, I learn that most of those desires are the products of dreaming and are, at the moment, far from reality.
It's as if I knew exactly who I wanted to be since I was a small child but done nothing to become that person. And it's true! I've always known who I wanted to be. Always. And I know it's not too late and I'm still young and blah blah blah, but I can't help but feel like I'm running out of time.
Trav advised me last night to prioritize, echoing the advice given to me in a more holy place.
But then like the child I am, I announce this game we call life, unfair.
...
I'm happy when I'm home and with family.
I'm happy when I'm with Travis.
I'm happy when I'm doing things I like to do.
I am NOT happy where I am right now.
I'm am not happy killing time here so I can go to work tonight.
I'm not happy that my work is so late, that I can't catch a bus home.
I'll continue to be miserable until I go home Tuesday night.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Um.. hmmm
Posted by MoonyMoMo at 11:32 AM
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4 comments:
Who is this person that you've always wanted to be? You're great the way you are!
I'm sorry Nett but I see the writing on the wall. You'll probably be happiest as a stay at home mommy. Its has its challenges but I wouldn't trade for a 9-5. In the phase of life that your in...you just have to be patient.
Set yourselves up right so you can go on plenty of vacations alone with Trav or as a fam. I'll help babysit if you ever need it. :-)
You should come over to my house and kill time before work :D
Life isn't fair for everyone, and that is what makes it fair. ;p
PS - What are you talking about? You want a baby or something?
I don't think babies have anything to do with this. I understand it being hard to think about passions. I thought I didn't have a lot either until I was forced to think of more then what I originally wrote down. Passions for me can be scents, feelings on my skin (like the warm sun-not hot though),certain jokes and laughs, fluffy clouds. Big comfy but flat pillows ^_^ And just from being with you, I know you have a ton. Even if some feel unrealistic or are unrealistic(Dragons)that shouldn't stop you from having a passion in it. I love mermaids ^_^
And to be the person you want to be is a life long and longer process. I think you're pretty great and you know what you are destined for. It will come.
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